I am looking for speaking opportunities, and I am focusing on mom groups because, let’s face it, I know a lot about moms. I was in the middle of cleaning my house yesterday, when I get a message from a friend asking if I could talk the next morning. Seems that the speaker they had scheduled was ill.
Sure! I would gladly come in! Okay, great, what will you talk about? Well, of course I had ideas in my head, I seem to have a bunch of those. However, I hadn’t actually designed anything yet. What could I talk on, relate it to hypnosis and coaching, moms, and have it be interesting? I decided to do a talk on the importance of taking care of mom.
I’m not going to go into everything now, as I hope I get to speak at a group all of you are in soon. I also felt like i didn’t have enough time to talk about everything, which just makes me realize how much moms need HypnoCoaches!
Being a parent is hard work. It doesn’t matter what type of parent you are. I think Stay at home parents have different needs and issues than working parents. Moms have different issues than dads too. I tend to relate with and talk more about stay at home moms, seeing how I am one.
One issue we have, that working moms don’t (and I don’t think stay at home dads do as much) is that we become the caregivers for EVERYONE. People (and ourselves) use us “not working” as a reason to take care of parents, grandparents, neighbors, disables relatives, whomever. Maybe we are even used as free baby sitters for nieces and nephews or friends. It is great to help people but we need to take care of ourselves too. We need to remember that we can say no.
Here is a short list of things that all parents need to remember.
Give yourself Permission- Give yourself permission to set boundaries and say no. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to be human.
Get Creative- Want to take a rest or watch a guilty pleasure TV show? Make it a game with your kids to give you some quiet time. Offer to drive the car pool if that means you can have 10 minutes of you time after you drop the kids off.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect- Social media is great but it has created a bunch of problems. Mommy wars is a big one. Judging each other for silly things has got to stop. By the way, the less we judge others, the less we get judged. Even when you get to a point that others’s judgement doesn’t bother you, you still might find that you are judging yourself. Stop. You aren’t perfect and that’s okay! Lose your temper? It’s okay, you will do better next time. Need a break? Allow your kids to watch more TV than you usually do and be okay with it.
Evaluate and reevaluate your life, make adjustments- Look at your life. Are there ways you can be happier? Ways you can get some more you time? You can make little changes like food shopping without the kids. Wait until your spouse is home, ask a friend to watch your kids, use the child care at some food store, or use a service like Shoprite from home. (Not to plug them but I use this and love it! For $10, I place my order online, pick a time that works for me, and then go pick it up. So great!) There are so many little ways to make adjustments to make your day easier and happier.
Communicate your needs with your partner, friends and family- A lot of times, it is hard for us to admit we need a break! It shouldn’t be. Have a friend or neighbor with young kids? I bet she could use a break too. Talk to her and offer to take her kids for a bit in exchange for her taking yours. Even if it’s only once in a great while. Talk to your partner. Let them know that you need some down time/you time/ kid free time. Explain what would help and talk about things that could work. If your partner is military or works a LOT, talk to any family and/or friends that are around. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget about others. Letting a loved one know that you need a break can be so beneficial.
Allow flexibility- I do not believe in extremes because they don’t allow you to be flexible. I don’t like my kids eating fast food but once in a while, I allow it if it saves my sanity. Winter is a time when this is especially true. This winter it has been pretty rainy. Not very nice for playing outside. We might end up at a McDonald’s soon so my kids can play in the play place. My point is, if you NEVER allow your kids fast food or TV time during the day, you build a box for yourself. You might find a day where you need a break, you need them to burn off energy, you need something you normally wouldn’t allow to save your sanity. It’s okay!
Enjoy yourself! Last but certainly not least, enjoy yourself. Be happy. Have fun. Life is too short not to be happy. If you aren’t enjoying yourself, it is time to reevaluate things. You can work on improvements and enjoy yourself at the same time.
I always love talking with and meeting new people. I learn something too! Today I learned that 30 minutes is only 2% of your day. I love that. Everyone deserves at least 2% of their day to take care of themselves.
As always, if you need any help or would like to schedule an appointment or speaking arrangement, feel free to contact me!